Monday, June 13, 2016

Meghan of The Adventure Starts Here {The Mommylogues Series}

The next guest for The Mommylogues Series is Meghan, a sweet mama with great style who shares fun crafts. I love how Meghan is sharing the message of mom empowerment without us ever consulting each other, that my friends, is a sign of kindred spirits :) 
Hi everyone! Let me start by thanking Whitney for letting me take over her blog today. I absolutely adore Whitney and am so happy that we have become friends. Now if we could just make a real life visit happen!

My name is Meghan and I blog over at The Adventure Starts Here. I have been married to my husband, Chris, for almost 6 years and am a SAHM to our 3 1/2 year old son, Noah. I know many people worry about losing their identity when becoming a mom. While I wouldn't say that I "lost" my identity, I am personally thrilled that my life now revolves around Noah. That's why you'll find that my blog is all about our life with a young child. That's not to say that I don't have other passions in life. I love sharing about my photography, fashion, our travels, and entertaining style. But it's pretty easy to see that they have all been influenced by the fact that I am a mother to a young child... and  I wouldn't have it  any other way :)
Since I blog all about being a mom, I feel like there are so many topics I could discuss today. But I think my time would be best spent discussing what I view as the most important thing to remember as a mom. The need to build each other up rather than tear each other down. No matter how different we are, the majority of mothers deeply love their kids and are just trying to do the best they can. Every mother is different, every child is different, and every situation is different. How can we possibly know the best way to raise someone else's child? So why do I see so many articles shaming other moms and threads where such mean comments are made to absolute strangers??? As mothers, we have enough internal mommy guilt to battle, we don't need social media, or worse our own family and friends, adding to the pile.  

Most days, I feel like I'm a pretty amazing mom. And to all the ladies out there, I think it would do us all good if we could acknowledge and admit that we are all pretty amazing moms! And while I'm happy with the choices I've made along the way with how we are raising Noah, I'm sure there are some people out there who have thought, "I would have done that differently". Here are just a few examples that people might have an opinion on... we did IVF, I had a c-section, and I decided not to snip Noah's tongue tie and instead pumped/supplemented with formula. I used store bought purees and we co-sleep (still) because I can't stand to hear him cry. We aren't super strict, meal times are relaxed, and we let Noah watch more TV than is recommended by the doctors. It would be pretty easy for the outside world to tell me how I could be a better mother. But really, what's the point?? Even if you did the opposite of everything I just described, who cares!? I still think you are an awesome mom!  We are all moms, loving our kids, and trying to do the best we can day in and day out. Why not focus on ourselves and our own kids, stop worrying about how someone else is doing it, and instead just support each other.  
Just recently, we were spending some time with friends. While I would describe both of our kids as being great, nice, and well behaved, they each had their moments (as all kids do). Whether it was because they were tired or just not in the mood to share anymore, they each had moments of less than ideal behavior. I know it's so easy to become embarrassed when your child is the one having a tantrum, especially in a public place. While I'd like to think that I'm above all that and don't really care what others think, I admit I feel Noah's cries are louder when out at a restaurant. In this instance, it was after a long day in the sun, we were getting ready to have dinner, and Noah decided he didn't want to give his friend a turn.  Cue the hysterics and me apologizing to the parents. They could have easily made a remark on Noah's lack of sharing or how I should better handle the situation. Instead they supported me, sympathized with me, and reminded me that we all go through it. We then had a good laugh and decided to be thankful that so far our kids were at least taking turns at being the spectacle ;)

That's the thing about parenting. We start off thinking the newborn stage is so difficult. And honestly, it is! Everything is new, you have no idea what you are doing, your child's only way to communicate is to cry, and you are utterly exhausted! You start to think that as they get older it has to get easier. And while the things that were tough with a newborn do get easier, new challenges present themselves. When your kid starts to throw tantrums and you question if they are slightly bipolar, and you have to really decide how you want to parent. That's when all the diapers and sleepless nights seem a little more manageable. Just take comfort knowing that every mom deals with an irrational child who chooses the most inopportune time to have a tantrum. That just because you see all these beautiful and smiling children on social media, doesn't mean that they aren't experiencing a rough day where they are counting down the hours until bedtime. There's no manual on how to be a parent, and even if there was one, it probably would only work for 10% of the population. Because as I said before, every parent, child, and situation is different.  But I think it's safe to say that none of us really know what we are doing. We all are, or at least I am, faking it until we make it.  

12 comments:

  1. Thanks for having me! And I love that we are totally on the same page when it comes to mom empowerment... Kindred spirits indeed!

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  2. Mommy wars and shaming are ridiculous. If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it, yes? Aria had a tantrum at joann's. She wanted to be carried and we said she could walk. So she threw herself on the floor and cried. We just kept walking so she crawled/cried on the floor following us. The only person that said anything said...good job =)

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  3. I couldn't agree more with Meghan. I hate the cattiness that women take part in and never noticed the level of belittlement that happens among mothers. In my opinion, we need to support each other more and more because motherhood is tough.

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  4. Yes! If moms banded together instead of tearing each other down its amazing what we could do. Everyone believes and parents differently but that doesn't mean we are wrong. You have to do what's best for your child and your family. All that matters is that the kids are happy and healthy. :)

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  5. Such a great post from a great mom. I love the part where she talks about how we should view ourselves as amazing moms more. SO good!

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  6. So true, we are all just doing our best and what we think is best for our kids, mom shaming is just the worst!

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  7. This is a great post. I fake it until I make it. I hate when my girls have meltdowns in public, but I know most parents have to deal with it. Mom shaming is the worst and I hate when I get caught up in it. It is rare for me to, but I have done it before.

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  8. We are just doing our best and need to support each other along the way!! Great post!

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  9. Oh such a great post. I agree. We're all just trying to figure it out! SO great to have friends who understand that too.

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  10. YES! We are all just trying to survive, and raise our babies to the best of our abilities!
    Sdie note: Meghan and Noah's crafting skills are amazing! I wish she'd come and do a craft day for us! :)

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  11. Such a great message, and so true, I'm totally faking it till I make it ;)

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  12. SUCH a great post from Meghan!! I love her view on everything and agree with her. Who cares how you did a certain thing, you are a great mom! That's the beauty of it all, we are all different and we can all learn from each other. Less judging and more loving and encouraging!

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Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. You make my day and put a smile on my face :) I respond to every comment so let's start a conversation, shall we?!

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